I'm Back!

I was so lazy to begin writing for my blog again but I keep telling myself that I should continue doing this, I shouldn't give up half way.. I should have given myself some "Me-time" since taking care of my lil baby full-time.. So I was thinking to myself and then my brain started to fill with ideas of things I could write.. As everyone has been saying that "Sharing is Caring" rite...

Anyway... My recent life has been all about my boy.. He is 2 months and 2 weeks now.. Which also means that my under-eye-bags are also getting blacker, thicker and wider! Despite the hardships and backaches, I am glad and I am definitely very happy to have my lil' boy with me, to be able to cuddle him, and to witness the moments of him growing up, the never-ending laughters and surprises that he continually gives us.

By the way, I have not introduce my Honey Bear yet.. His name is Ayden..

So, I promise myself that after writing this short update of myself, I will take photos of some interesting things and will upload here and hopefully the upcoming blogs that I'm going to write will contain useful info and is entertaining for my dear readers.

Ooh.. and not forget to mention, that's me in the photo... thats my 26th weeks being pregnant. My belly starts to show visibly and the little navel of mine is protruding... Looking back then, time really flies~

Till my next blog, See you !!

The Salvation Army (Kuching Branch) Annual Sale Of Work

Yearly on the 31st August, Malaysia celebrates "Hari Merdeka" (Malaysia's Independence Day). No doubt, it is a public holiday in Malaysia.

Every year on this same date, The Salvation Army in Kuching held their Annual Sale of Work Day. In other words, it is a fund raising day which took place in The Salvation Army Kuching Boys' Home. Every year, the public will work together with The Salvation Army Children's Home, Boys' Home as well as the Church and the Community Services to sell tickets, collect fundings and find sponsors for this activity. People from all walks of life come together to lend a hand for this meaningful activity.

The annual Sale of Work event this year saw 110 stalls raising funds for the homes. Last year in 2009, the home manage to raised RM140,000. This year, Major Francis Ng voiced that a special learning centre should be set up in the homes to allow the children to pick up on their studies at their own pace and eventually be at par with the others. (Source from: STARMETRO,Wednesday,1September 2010).

This is because the children admitted to The Salvation Army's care mostly had irregular school attendance beforehand. In some cases, the child never received formal education till the day of admission to The Salvation Army. Thus, many children become the victim of illiteracy.

This year, an idea sparks me. I should open up a stall and try my very best to contribute back to the society. Since I used to work in The Salvation Army Children's Home and now as a volunteer, I was very happy to be able to continue to help in different ways.

My friends and relatives are very supportive for this cause too. They gathered money and even help baked items for the stall to sell. These are some of the photos I had able to snap before all of us were busy selling, shouting and trying our best to attract customers to visit our stall =D

This is our stall number. Lucky 97.. 


The cute banner was a girl's effort from The Children's Home. Isn't that cute?

These are the food items for sale.

As you can see, there are home-baked choc chip banana muffins, home made cookies, peppermint herbal teahome made Konyaku fruit flavored jellies in cups, and  home made fruit flavored puddings.

A close-up picture of the home made mini hot dog buns and cream buns.

Here's another picture of the home-made Hawaiian pizzas. The rest of the buns and cakes are donated by The Southern bakery shop (which is located at 2 1/2 mile in Kuching, next to Alliance Bank and Maybank).










And these are the Team, the spirits behind our stall's success. Without good teamwork, we would not be able to raise a total amount of RM1471. Thanks buddies!!

Most of our items were sold within 4 hours. The last half and hour, we sold the remaining buns for RM1. We also gave some to the children. All gone and Nothing is Wasted!!!! 

GREAT WORK!!

Long Lost Poem

I used to write poems to fill out my feelings of sorrows, happiness or when I am reflecting on something. I was clearing and re-ordering my book shelves when I came across my little pinkie note book that once is my best friend in Adelaide.

I was flipping over the pages of recipes, notes, diary and on the last page, I found my Poem of Solemn, a name that I gave to the poem I wrote last time.

A Poem of Solemn

What if there is only you?

The world you have left behind,

Trying to find something new,

Seeking meaning you never knew,
The Meaning of Life that everyone..

Everyone is talking about..

Endlessly

People would tell you life is wonderful,

but what if you falls hard on the ground,

People would tell you life is a learning process,

but what if you grow too fast you wanna stop.

What is the Meaning of Life then?

Or should I begin.. with What is Life?

Someone said it is the thing you held in your hand,

but it is also the thing that dissappear

before a glance of your very own eyes

Life can be a long journey,

or a meaningful short one,

You choose your own life..

The Meaning of Life?

One may live in this world, to enjoy, to experience..

some strive hard to find status
some live near family and some..

some stay close to friends, for the person

knew it's the only thing

that he can either give and take without worries.

Some people say friends never leave us,

but what if you still feel loneliness inside,

always remember that...

Someone, somewhere is always thinking of you.

Someone hugging you close, praying hard for you,

It is only a matter of reaching out your hand,

A matter of time, to find the key to cure loneliness.

Maybe you are just feeling alone?

Alone in this dark wide world can be frightening,

but such world can he happening as well

Look at the world..

Look at it.. carefully..

You'll find a destiny..I promise

Welcoming your presence..

The place where you belong.

Do not fall when you're tired,

As one says rest if you must but never quit,

Warriors are not afraid of the front,of the unknown,

He only believes in one thing,

He believes in..

Himself;

The soul you have inside, surprisingly

Are your key to cure loneliness,

The key to happiness,

Your soul is your dearest friend,

Always believing in you,

If you defeat yourself, you defeat your soul,

Never give up til the last breath you have..

As a life with a soul is a life with a goal!

yenling

Thank you for always being there for me!

Our friendship is so amazing,

The birds all have to sing,

They know that what we have,

is such a A special thing.

I knew it ever since the start,

From the very day I met you,

That we'd be the Perfect friends,

I hope that you did too

Things are just as I had thought,

For you're always oh so kind,

I know that I can count on you,

& that grants such peace of mind!

Lots of Love,

yenling

20 Cent Public Toilet

I had longed to SCREAM out my disgusts of the public toilets I had used in Malaysia. And today, alast, I have the courage to revisit my "Journeys" to the "MYPT" (Malaysia's Yucky Public Toilets). Here it goes..n I'm happy to receive as many Hi-5 from you hahaha...

I normally try to "tahan" (control the urge) to pee especially if I'm at a wet market, supermarkets, pasar malam, kopi-tiams, food court, bus stations, the train stations or somewhere remote (e.g.: on the way to Kundasang, Mt Kinabalu). If I had to use it, I will hold my breath and pretend to be blind of all the painfull sight of things that I have to witness!!

But few years back, after I returned from Australia (If I'm allowed to compare) our standards of cleanliness in shopping malls, cinemas, well-known International Fast Food Restaurants and even our International airportS are extremely low too!!If I could, I would label them as "clean-less" spots!!

Most of the times, even before reaching the door, I could smell the stinks from the inside. Holding my breath, I walked in and would quickly choose a vacant cubicle. First spot, you'll frequently noticed that the door lock was broken or went missing. Then, either you choose the others (while still holding your breath) or pee & pray that no one kicks open the stupid broken door! and for me, I normally choose the 2nd option =P

Now, I dare you to sit or even touch the toilet bowl when you're doing your business. Because I would never ever have the courage to touch it as either it has footsteps prints on it, yellow pee, stains, tissues and other un-imaginable things!

The tissue box! 90% of the time, it's empty or even broken!and I always wonder if the tissue box is just an accesories to the toilets!

The flush!!Don't you think it is cynical to see "Please Flush After Use" OR "Sama-Sama Menjaga Kebersihan Tandas" and you found out that the flush was Broken too! Either there's no handle, no water, or the water that drips out is even lesser than your pee!

The disgust does not ends here, unfortunately after all those bacterias and harmful viruses that you might have come into contact, you wanted to wash your hands thoroughly with soap and water, then wipe it dry with a sheet of tissue. Out of these 3 things, 2 would normally gone missing from the toilets!

No liquid soap inside the soap box. The sink is not working, there's no tissue inside the tissue box, hand dryer is out of service.... and I haven't start mentioning the toilet's floor. It's wet all the time and our foot steps worsen it by leaving different kinds of marks on the floor, people wearing pointy heels, school shoes, sport shoes, slippers.. all kinds of stains can be seen on the wet floor. And it is dangerously slippery!

And above all these, we still have to pay our humble 20 cents for such bad services!

Well, you can definitely find cleaner toilets in some shopping malls and some section in the airports. I found it interesting when you have "dirty" toilets on the outside/domestic of our airport but then when you enter the "International" part, our toilets can be squeky clean, spotless, soap and tissue all ready! Why is there such a huge difference?

But then again, I should be thankful and not all complains. Why to be thankful to the "MYPT"? I guess, if without them, I would not develop a stronger immune system towards harmful bacterias and viruses. As well as build up some muscles while squating to pee, and of course holding back my breath for up to 40seconds!! ha ha~

An advice that I always give myself is to empty my bladder whenever I spot "clean & free" toilets, such as those situated inside 4-stars hotels!! =P

Ciao~ babes! Have fun reading ^_^
Lots of Love
YL
(p/s: i decided not to post any pic as I found it too disgusting to view) =P

Love me as I am..

I heard a shocking news 2 days ago. But I asked myself, why am I still shocked if I had already know of the decision made.

16 Dec 2006 : It's about a boy I used to work with in a Children's Home. He came in 1 week after I joined the NGO. He was very fragile then. He was joined by his elder sister and 2 elder brothers who were sent to the Boy's Home. I remembered his face clearly the day he was being admitted. He carried a small bag containing a couple of shirts, shorts and other basic essentials. But he was missing a smile, his face was gloomy and full of hatred and anger. He must be wondering "why he had been sent here", "why his mom could so coldly decided to leave them for good", "why his dad can't do anything to undo the whole situation", "why he's being separated?" and other WH's questions.

It was very difficult for the whole family to cope. The elder brothers, in their teenage years went into rebellion and fights. The elder sister suppress her feelings by being smiley all the time, make friends and talk as if nothing traumatic has happened in her life. And this young boy, at the tender age of 5 years plus, he has to witnessed a real nightmare, a trauma, a tragedy that struck his beloved family.

I dare not ask them to open their hearts and share with me their hard times. After all, who am I?I'm just a staff, an adult who is now responsible for his welfare.

I waited patiently for the time to come. Then, things explode. After few days of their admission, he loses his cool and throws his anger towards himself. He bangs his head on the metal door while crying out loud; it shattered my heart to pieces.

Kids were worried and were hysterically shouting at him to stop. Staff tried to pulled him away from the door, his elder sister witness the outbreak cry along. I went and have a look, initially unsure what to do and how to react.

All I was thinking "Give them a hug", "Tell them that everything will be fine". But I cannot promise that, as we all can see, Things are not fine and will never be the same again.

I pat their shoulders and head as softly as I can, trying to avoid hurting myself and his head. After quite sometime, it stopped. What a relieved!

After a cup of tea and hiccups from their friends, I brought them to my office. I was about to ask them what had happened and was deciding if they will go hysterical again.

Pulling out all my courage, I asked if they were OK. The little boy, still wet with tears and a head red and bruised from all the bangings ignored my question. Meanwhile, the sister stared at me like I am an alien intruding their comfort zone.

I heard about their past and their trauma, but I need to hear it from themselves as they are the most accurate story-teller.

Very slowly, I was being filled with the details of their nightmare.

***It was their usual afternoon, after lunch, their mother hurried them for a nap in a small bedroom. The elder brothers slept in a corner, sister near her mom and the youngest under his mom's arm. He was drinking milk from his milk bottle.

Everyone fell asleep and was woken up by a very hot feeling, smoke and someone shouting. Apparently, their mom had asked the eldest brother to leave the house and help run some errands while his siblings were asleep.

Now, the eldest brother was shouting loudly to wake his siblings up before the fire burnt them to death. They struggled, cried and shouted for life. The little boy told me that he nearly burnt his feet when the burning wood fell down from top. They managed to crawl out from a small window.

The siblings gathered and tried to find their mother. Helpful neighbours came around with piles of water trying to stop the fire. The eldest brother went around the house and found their mom at last! But she was dead!Hanged on a fruit tree behind their house. Someone notified their father and later on, he showed up.

Before they ended their story, he told me, "mommy plans to bring us along...." I was struggling with my own emotions and tears. All I can do is to hug them briefly and we fell into silence.

I realized all over again, this is their coping mechanism. They are in denial stage. They need help. We will need to do lots of work to see some changes in them.

To cut the story short, over 2years and 6months, I feel bonded with them (and of course all the other children I worked with). It was no miracle! I lost my own cool countless times when I feel what I did was useless and pointless. But my supervisor and colleagues were very supportive.

I enrolled him to Primary 1 (he missed his kindie year), prepared and chosed his school bag together, along with pencil case, pencils and other essentials. I walked into the school for registration with them, people staring at me, wondering if I am another pitiful young single mother with kids!!

Half of my job is to be like a mother or father to the kids. I smile when they are happy, I cry silently when I know they are sad or being bullied. They shared with me the excitements in school and the teachers they like, dislike, and scared of! I witnessed their annual sports day, AGM meetings, report cards meetings and meetings with the discipline teachers.

It was stressful but I enjoyed it, at least most of the time!! =)

Back to the topic, he was now in Primary 4 and soon he will be sent to the Boys' Home (once he reached Primary 5).

From someone who hated words and homework, he now loves his Sciences and went for his twice-weekly English tuition. From someone who failed in most tests, he now could score a pass and read a simple storybook for you to enjoy.

I am so proud of him and I love him dearly. He did not turn into a saint, he is still a kid, with occasional tantrums and fall into fights at school.

The news I heard 2 days ago was that he will be transferred to the Boys' Home by end of this semester or to be exact by March!! I was so surprised and I felt dizzy for a moment while the news crawl into my head!

Is he ready?? I asked repeatedly. Boys' Home is for "big" boys, they involved in fights and has a lack of interest in their studies.

I felt so selfish. He settled in so well, he was having fun learning but now, if he was transfered there, what he will become? Will he become another dropout??

It doomed me. I think about my feelings and my thoughts all over before I sleep that night.

I felt like a worried mom sending their kid to the school for the first day, will he enjoy it?will he cry?will he ask for the toilet?will he make friends?....

I felt like I lose control over the future. But who am I to determined the future? I am only a human and only God knows of one's future.

I felt so helpless. I know I am scared to hear that he has turn into a bad boy.. but then again, I told myself, why I am so certain?I should be more supportive and trust his potential.

People grow up and people make their own decisions. He will grow up too and I should let him be.

So, before I fell asleep, I hoped that I will be remembered by him as a friend who once shared and cared about his life.

I will continue to care and sneak an eye and an ear of him till he grows out of my sight!!

(*_^) wink

Memories

Recently, my mind was full of sweet old memories. I was talking to myself the reasons I am thinking all these non-stop. I tell myself that I must be missing those days when I am still young, carefree and feelings that I have nothing to lose in this world. But as we aged, we become alot wiser, making "correct" decisions and we make use of our consciousness and reasoning skills. Well, at least I hope that I am making correct decisions.

When I was young, I cant wait for myself to grow up and envy those adults who seem to have all the freedom that one can have. But now that I'm an adult, I just hope I can turn back time and become a kid all again. Life full of games, fun, parties and no major decisions need to be made. And no one will blame a kid for things that go wrong in your life.

But, in reality, life goes on. I have to (like it or not) to choose, to make decisions as "correctly" as I can, so that I won't regret it later and blame myself for those misfortunes. Well, decisions from career, choosing the "right" one, planning for a family, having a baby, all of these are such huge responsibilities.

But I guess, that is part of being "normal" in this "normal" world!I have to life live fully ~ but not always how I want it to be.. at least not in this culture!To be acceptable in this environment, in most cases, one must not put self on the top place, you have to consider your loved ones needs before you, and maybe that is why I feel tired sometimes.

Well.. memories will always be kept in our mind and heart forever. So i guess, memories help us to find back the need to keep life going, to add more beautiful memories in the future so that when we leave this world, we will be able to bring memories filled with emotions with us. As the elderly says, "When we die, we can't take along our possesions, money or status but we will bring memories with us and leave behind precious memories for our loved ones, to Miss us"~

Love & Hugs